Are You a Narrator Parent?

Yikes, I think a lot of us are. I sure used to be. I could craft the most lovely explanations that could take an entire drive home from school. A particular masterpiece comes to mind when Child 1 - a kindergartener - wanted to know how roads were made. Earnestness overrode practicality and I got a sore throat ensuring I covered every detail - including the role of the surveyor.

As a child, I used to watch the Charlie Brown cartoon specials on TV where a muted trumpet sound was used in place of any adult’s voice. Charles Schultz was on to something - none of the Peanuts characters reacted much to those adults. Over time and with experience I have learned that not much actual listening goes on when someone uses long sentences without pauses. I think kids just hear the mwah-mwah-mwah that Charlie Brown and friends did.

There are many studies about how important voice, tone and body language are in communication. AI will provide you even more. While I support science, I can also concur from practical observation and experience.

You are a Narrator Parent if you can answer yes to these types of questions:

Do you use phrases like “Why don’t you listen?”, “How many time times have I told you?”

Do you say things like “You always” or “You never”?

Do you start requests with “You”? i.e. “You need to empty the dishwasher” vs “The dishwasher needs to be emptied”.

Do you start requests with action demands? i.e. “Go get in the car” vs “We are leaving in 5 minutes”.

Do you go on and on and think the message was delivered because you are finished talking?

Do you believe that when you ask your children what you said and they can repeat your last phrase verbatim means that they were actually listening?

Do you use the word “No” at the beginning of sentences, especially when teaching a new tasks?

Do you speak at length or begin speaking without checking to see what your child was doing?

Narrator Parents basically miss reading the room. They are so intently focused on the messages they want to deliver that they miss thinking about how the children receive it.

Don’t want to stay a Narrator Parent? Check out the next blog!